The blackhole of my life.

Do you get that feeling in your tummy that maybe you're making a mistake? I'm getting that one right now. What if I'm just messing up my future by sacrificing the things I like to do?
What if I was mean to be a dancer? Or artist? Or an actress? There are so many possibilities. I wonder if I'm making a mistake doing the mainstream stuff.
Few days ago I heard someone in class say "I should have taken Humanities". I happen to agree with that person. All this is just getting insanely overwhelming.
Now, I feel like I'm sinking in a deep, dark hole and there is no one to pull me out. I've forgotten how to have fun and I worry all the time.
How can they put so much pressure on us during our teenage years and expect us to turn out as normal adults?
Exams? Marks? School? College? I cant see what I'm working towards anymore.

Mobile phones as shields!

There is one thing which has always nagged me. I've never fit in any group. 

I get that feeling of envy when I see a bunch of kids hanging around together and its not a nice thing to feel. I used to be part of a group back in the city I was born. I used to be that little kid everyone adored. Then, my father moved. Now, I just feel like I don't fit in. My parents kinda stopped socializing so I never formed that group. I envy people who have been friends from childhood. That is a very special bond to have.

We have this ten day festival going on. It happens every year. There are a bunch of kids I see every year. They know me by face but I haven't properly spoken to any of them and that makes me sad. There are so many people who I know I would have been good friends with but I don't get that little push I need to say "Hi" or "Hello". Like before when people were forced to smile at eachother? Nowadays we just hide behind our phones and various other gadgets. 

Facebook. That's another story all together. There are SO many people you "fb know". There are the two types. You're friends on FB buy never met. Or incessantly stalked on FB and seen in person but never talked. I think technology reduces you're ability to talk to a person in person giving you the opportunity to hide behind a rectangular screen. 

It is true that it open a lot of windows allowing you to make friends by overcoming distances. But, what about the door that close? You may know everything about the person sitting next to you in your class but when will they know about you?